Eleven Questions to
Ask in 2011
by Marlene Chism
It
has been said, if you want a better result, ask a better
question. What questions are you asking yourself in this New
Year? If your questions are not getting you the results you
desire, here are eleven questions you can ask yourself in
2011.
1. Who am I?
You answer this question every day whether you mean to or
not. When you are kind in the midst of drama, you represent
yourself as one who has self control. When you consistently
show up late for appointments, you represent yourself as one
who is unorganized or one who is disrespectful. Do others
see you as you see you? Why not answer the "who am I"
question consciously and see where you may be out of
alignment.
2. Where am I incongruent?
When the way you see yourself is not the way others
experience you, there is a measure of incongruence. If you
say your top value is family but you are a workaholic, this
is an integrity gap which requires you to align what you
think, what you say and what you do. This is much easier if
you can answer the next question.
3. What am I committed to?
If you don't know what your top values are, you will
experience drama in the form of confusion. If you don't know
what your commitments are, then just look at your choices,
because by your choices you reveal your commitments.
4. What are my choices?
If you do not recognize your power of choice, your
unconscious mind will run the show. Why you do things you do
not want to do, and why you have reoccurring regrets is
because of programming, not because of choice. The good news
is, every day you have the opportunity to choose
differently. If there is something about your life or
yourself that you do not like, you must first recognize
choice. Once you have recognized your choices, you quit
operating from old programming and you can create new more
empowering habits that serve you.
5. What is required of me?
Making a decision to change is only the beginning. The
reason people do not follow through with decisions is that
they do not know what is going to be required of them when
they accept a challenge or make a new commitment. All
commitments contain certain requirements. For example,
commitment to health requires you to eat consciously, avoid
tobacco, and exercise, and commitment to marriage means
eliminating other possible partners. Your commitments will
always test you in some form, so be grateful for the little
trials.
6. What am I grateful for?
Often times we live our lives as if there is some form of
salvation right around the corner. When I get the raise,
when I lose the weight, when I get the new house, when I
make more money, then I will be happy. If you can't
appreciate the five dollars you have today, you won't be
able to appreciate the 500,000 you get in the future. Choose
to be grateful now, because now is all you really have.
7. How can I serve?
One way to get your mind off of lack is to serve others.
The question, how can I serve, will serve you at work and at
home. Always look for opportunities to serve even in small
ways. Empty the trash before having to be asked, open the
door for someone whose hands are full; anticipate when your
client may need your assistance.
8. How can I add value?
One of my favorite business philosophers, the late Jim
Rhon, used to say, "don't come to the marketplace with your
need." Stop thinking about what you are going to get out of
something, stop trying to impress, stop worrying about what
everyone else thinks of you and simply ask, "How can I add
value." Your new mindset will also increase your
self-confidence and feeling of connection to others.
9. What do they want?
When a client, friend, or co-worker speaks to you, it's easy
to get into advice-giving, discounting, or sharing your own
story. The next time you listen, listen for the inflection
and the emotion behind the speaking. Then, silently ask
yourself, What do they really want?" You will be surprised
at what you hear and how you response will differ.
10. What do I want?
Most of the time we talk about what we don't want, or why
what we want is impossible to attain. Before you can get
from point A to point B, you have to be able to name what
you want. If you believe you can't get what you want, go to
the next question.
11. What story is holding me back?
If you are having a hard time in any area of your life,
chances are, there is a story you have created about why you
can't achieve what you want. In the end, your perceived
success or lack thereof goes back to your belief systems.
What is it you say that is holding you back? Not enough
time? A bad childhood? Not enough education? Too old? Where
would you be without your story? Go back to the first
question and answer it again. Who are you? You are capable.
You are competent. You are deserving. You are enough. When
you change your story you change your life.
Marlene Chism is a professional speaker and author of Stop
Workplace Drama, (Wiley, 2011). Marlene has master's degree
in HR development and she works with leaders who want to run
their office with no complaints, no excuses and no regrets.
To get free resources go to
www.stopworkplacedrama.com
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